Robert writes home #80 11 Nov 1996
11 Nov 1996
Dear Mother,
This weekend was Stake Conference. I spoke yesterday in the priesthood session on the subject of how busy church leaders can be better fathers to their children.
I have some beg cottonwood trees up by the canal in my pasture. One of them had three trunks. Last spring one of the trunks split off and fell during a wind storm. Subsequently, the other two split off and fell through the summer and ending with the last one about two weeks ago. The center was hollow. The tree was about five feet in diameter. I've been anticipating having to go cut it up and fix the fence it fell on, but have been waiting until the weather cooled a little. Yesterday morning was the time I had fixed on to have Charlie help me move the pieces I had sawed up and stack them. I am not strong enough to lift some of them. Charlie had a ball game the night before and was up late and wanting to sleep in, but I had to be done by noon to get ready to go to conference. So I went up early to get him up and began by relating to him this story. "When I was a senior in high school, my folks let me stay out until the early morning hours on the night of the prom, but they didn't let me off of my obligation to be in the barn at milking time. I got home about 4:00 AM and was in the barn at 6 AM. I always knew that my responsibility to duty was a valuable gift that my dad gave me. I don't think I would have accomplished the things I have accomplished without it. That's what makes me follow through and persevere. Now, Charlie, I want to give that gift to you. We have to get up and cut and stack that wood this morning." And he did.
Now that might seem like a joke, but I'm very serious about that principle. Sometimes when we take pity on our kids and "let them slide." We rob them of the greater gift. We think we're being nice to them but we're actually trying to buy their affection at the expense of their development into a productive adult. I'm thankful to you, Mother, and Pop, for teaching me those lessons.
Our primary responsibilities in life are to marry, have children and teach them the principles of the gospel and prepare them to succeed. All the times we spend with our kids are not equal, in terms of productivity. We don't have to spend all day with them to teach them. But it is important that when we are with them that we teach them and that they know that they are the primary focus and we are trying to show them how to apply the principles of the gospel in their lives because we love them and want them to find happiness. When we are away doing our church callings, we are demonstrating to our kids the application of faith and commitment to the gospel and our Heavenly Father.
I think working with your kids is one of the more productive ways to spend time with them. You talk about their concerns and teach them gospel principles while they re learning the importance of responsibility and being a productive, contributing person. When you don't have enough time to do all the things that you want to do, it is very important to know which things are more important than the other things.
I would start by following the prophetic counsel. Over the years we have noted the specific counsels given at conference and put them into our lives. Things like Family Home Evening, daily scripture reading, family prayer, dating your spouse once a week and dating a child once each week, hold PPI's with each child on fast Sunday afternoon. These are the most efficient time applications that I know of. I value these prophetic counsels like a secret formula for success in child rearing. I bear my witness that we are led by a prophet through whom God speaks and tells us the things we need to know to succeed. It's exciting to me to know that. I say it in the name of Jesus Christ .
We have a new Fresno Stake Mission President. He is from New Zealand. I met him after the session. He seems like a really likable man but I can't remember his name. I never understood it when they gave it. It is not a usual name. It starts with Beet-- or Beitsen.
Charlie's football team is leading the league. We went to their game the other night. Charlie got to be team captain for that game. That means he got to go out and call the toss of the coin to see who kicks and who receives. It only lasts for that game. Someone else will be captain next game.
Megan, our 20 year old daughter, got officially engaged last week. She's going to marry a returned missionary from Turlock, a town about 50 north of us. She met him at Ricks.
Janet is going to get together with his mother next week and start planning the wedding. We're pretty excited to finally have a daughter plan to live in California by us after the wedding. All of the others immediately left the state to live elsewhere. Laurie and Melinda came back for a year or two and then left again. However, none have ever lived just 50 miles away.
Love,
Robert, Janet, Charlie and Sam
Dear Mother,
This weekend was Stake Conference. I spoke yesterday in the priesthood session on the subject of how busy church leaders can be better fathers to their children.
I have some beg cottonwood trees up by the canal in my pasture. One of them had three trunks. Last spring one of the trunks split off and fell during a wind storm. Subsequently, the other two split off and fell through the summer and ending with the last one about two weeks ago. The center was hollow. The tree was about five feet in diameter. I've been anticipating having to go cut it up and fix the fence it fell on, but have been waiting until the weather cooled a little. Yesterday morning was the time I had fixed on to have Charlie help me move the pieces I had sawed up and stack them. I am not strong enough to lift some of them. Charlie had a ball game the night before and was up late and wanting to sleep in, but I had to be done by noon to get ready to go to conference. So I went up early to get him up and began by relating to him this story. "When I was a senior in high school, my folks let me stay out until the early morning hours on the night of the prom, but they didn't let me off of my obligation to be in the barn at milking time. I got home about 4:00 AM and was in the barn at 6 AM. I always knew that my responsibility to duty was a valuable gift that my dad gave me. I don't think I would have accomplished the things I have accomplished without it. That's what makes me follow through and persevere. Now, Charlie, I want to give that gift to you. We have to get up and cut and stack that wood this morning." And he did.
Now that might seem like a joke, but I'm very serious about that principle. Sometimes when we take pity on our kids and "let them slide." We rob them of the greater gift. We think we're being nice to them but we're actually trying to buy their affection at the expense of their development into a productive adult. I'm thankful to you, Mother, and Pop, for teaching me those lessons.
Our primary responsibilities in life are to marry, have children and teach them the principles of the gospel and prepare them to succeed. All the times we spend with our kids are not equal, in terms of productivity. We don't have to spend all day with them to teach them. But it is important that when we are with them that we teach them and that they know that they are the primary focus and we are trying to show them how to apply the principles of the gospel in their lives because we love them and want them to find happiness. When we are away doing our church callings, we are demonstrating to our kids the application of faith and commitment to the gospel and our Heavenly Father.
I think working with your kids is one of the more productive ways to spend time with them. You talk about their concerns and teach them gospel principles while they re learning the importance of responsibility and being a productive, contributing person. When you don't have enough time to do all the things that you want to do, it is very important to know which things are more important than the other things.
I would start by following the prophetic counsel. Over the years we have noted the specific counsels given at conference and put them into our lives. Things like Family Home Evening, daily scripture reading, family prayer, dating your spouse once a week and dating a child once each week, hold PPI's with each child on fast Sunday afternoon. These are the most efficient time applications that I know of. I value these prophetic counsels like a secret formula for success in child rearing. I bear my witness that we are led by a prophet through whom God speaks and tells us the things we need to know to succeed. It's exciting to me to know that. I say it in the name of Jesus Christ .
We have a new Fresno Stake Mission President. He is from New Zealand. I met him after the session. He seems like a really likable man but I can't remember his name. I never understood it when they gave it. It is not a usual name. It starts with Beet-- or Beitsen.
Charlie's football team is leading the league. We went to their game the other night. Charlie got to be team captain for that game. That means he got to go out and call the toss of the coin to see who kicks and who receives. It only lasts for that game. Someone else will be captain next game.
Megan, our 20 year old daughter, got officially engaged last week. She's going to marry a returned missionary from Turlock, a town about 50 north of us. She met him at Ricks.
Janet is going to get together with his mother next week and start planning the wedding. We're pretty excited to finally have a daughter plan to live in California by us after the wedding. All of the others immediately left the state to live elsewhere. Laurie and Melinda came back for a year or two and then left again. However, none have ever lived just 50 miles away.
Love,
Robert, Janet, Charlie and Sam
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